So I returned to the hotel yesterday and to MEPS today because I had to take the DLAB (Defense Language Aptitude Battery). It is a standardized test determining the potential of an English speaking person to learn a new language. There is no way to study for this test, but it is recommended that you familiarize yourself with grammar rules of English.
I checked into the hotel again at 1600 and went up to my room. My roommate followed right behind me, introduced herself, and promptly left. I took the time to take a nice nap. I woke up around 2000 and headed down for dinner chow. I sat with some relatively normal people and secretly rejoiced that Creeper was no where to be found. After eating (our surprisingly tasty meal) we headed downstairs for the briefing. I watched the briefing again, and then positioned myself up near the front so that I would ensure my evening snack.
My new friends and I decided to play a card game called Kemps. (After coming home and sharing my story, my brother and sister informed me that we play this game also...we just call it Squares). Anyways, this game was pretty addictive and we played it all the way until 2230, where the smokers once again went out for their last call.
The next morning was a repeat of the rude 0400 awakening, herding downstairs for chow, herding onto the bus, and formation outside of MEPS. This time, however, since I was there for a special test and not for in-processing, I was one of the last names to be called. Once I was called in, the very attractive Air Force officer checked me in and escorted me to the testing room.
While I can not discuss the contents of the test, I can say that it was really freaking hard. The audio section was straight forward and required a lot of critical thinking, but overall it was doable. The written section turned my brain into Jell-O. However, I did fairly well and scored a 132 out of 176. In order to qualify to learn a language in the Army you need to score at least an 85, and to qualify for the most difficult languages you need to score a 105. So needless to say, I will be learning Arabic, Mandarin, or Korean.
That is the end of my time at MEPS until I ship out. Good riddance.
I checked into the hotel again at 1600 and went up to my room. My roommate followed right behind me, introduced herself, and promptly left. I took the time to take a nice nap. I woke up around 2000 and headed down for dinner chow. I sat with some relatively normal people and secretly rejoiced that Creeper was no where to be found. After eating (our surprisingly tasty meal) we headed downstairs for the briefing. I watched the briefing again, and then positioned myself up near the front so that I would ensure my evening snack.
My new friends and I decided to play a card game called Kemps. (After coming home and sharing my story, my brother and sister informed me that we play this game also...we just call it Squares). Anyways, this game was pretty addictive and we played it all the way until 2230, where the smokers once again went out for their last call.
The next morning was a repeat of the rude 0400 awakening, herding downstairs for chow, herding onto the bus, and formation outside of MEPS. This time, however, since I was there for a special test and not for in-processing, I was one of the last names to be called. Once I was called in, the very attractive Air Force officer checked me in and escorted me to the testing room.
While I can not discuss the contents of the test, I can say that it was really freaking hard. The audio section was straight forward and required a lot of critical thinking, but overall it was doable. The written section turned my brain into Jell-O. However, I did fairly well and scored a 132 out of 176. In order to qualify to learn a language in the Army you need to score at least an 85, and to qualify for the most difficult languages you need to score a 105. So needless to say, I will be learning Arabic, Mandarin, or Korean.
That is the end of my time at MEPS until I ship out. Good riddance.
Where do I even begin? I made little notes in my cell phone's notepad so that I didn't forget the characters that I met along the way. Honestly, I remember more about the people than I do the process itself.
I arrived at the hotel by the airport around 1600. Everyone reporting to MEPS the next day stays at the hotel and are then shuttled to Fort Gillem the next morning. MEPS basically controls the basement level of the hotel. So I went downstairs, checked in, got bitched at by the woman, and went upstairs to secure my stuff.
The setup downstairs is actually really nice. There is a huge plasma TV with a really nice surround sound system and lots of recliners set up around it. There is also a separate section with another plasma TV with an Xbox 360. We were not allowed to play with it though, and we got yelled out every time someone asked if we could turn it on. Everyone just ended up watching the movie Shooter, which was actually really good.
Then was dinner. All of our meals (except lunch the second day) were served in the hotel's restaurant. It was absolutely hilarious to watch the cat-and-mouse dance about where to sit in the restaurant. Nobody really knows anyone at this point, so you basically sit with the people you think look the most interesting, or, if you are particularly daring, go and sit with someone you find especially attractive. The dynamics of the whole thing were really just funny to watch. I ended up sitting with some guys that I had a short conversation with earlier, mainly because it was easier to sit with people I had already broken the ice with. Dinner was mediocre at best, but I can't really complain as it was free.
After dinner we went downstairs and I Am Legend was on. My group opted to get an epic game of Monopoly going instead. Enter Creeper. I do not know his real name, nor do I care to know. I refer to him only as Creeper. He was THAT guy. The guy that knows everything about everything. And the guy that makes sure you know his opinion on everything, regardless of whether or not you want to hear it. And the guy that thinks he has been put on this Earth as God's greatest gift to women. THAT guy. Out of the 100+ people there, he chooses to sit next to me.
Monopoly ended up being really fun, if only for the fact that everyone had bonded over our severe disdain for Creeper. At one point he suggested an outing to Starbucks, and we all chose to let him go by himself, buying ourselves a few precious minutes without him. We ended up playing Pictionary while he was gone. I played an Army vs. Air Force round, and of course the Army won :)
At 2030 we were instructed to watch a briefing on what we were to expect at MEPS the next day. It was, as it's name suggested, a brief and to the point account letting us know that we would be sitting around and waiting all day. After the briefing we were instructed to form a single line at the front of the room to receive our evening snack. A cookie and soda of our choosing. Mean lady was in rare form and only had the snacks available for 5 minutes. Even if you were in line, if the 5 minutes were up, you were SOL. I must make a mental note to make sure I'm always at the head of the line...
Anyways, Creeper had returned by this point and watched us play another round of Pictionary. He kept telling everyone stories of escapes from police, battle scars, pornographic tattoos, and other various nonsense stories that only resulted in headache for those around him.
At around 2220 all the smokers decided it was time for the last smoke break before curfew at 2300. I was in the very small minority of non-smokers, but accompanied my new group of friends outside to continue our chatting. In true smoker form, we formed the cliche smoking circle outside. With 20 minutes to curfew, Creeper announces that he is headed up to bed, and walks across the circle to where I'm standing and says, "Since we are both going Active Army, we should exchange numbers to keep in touch and help each other out and stuff." And me being the terrible person that I am say sure and make up a number to give him, eliciting some of the funniest stares and glares from the rest of the group there.
After Creeper made his exit, obviously very pleased with himself that he had scored my number, everyone else begins a barrage of "I can't believe you gave him your number!" I calmly explain that I gave him a fake number, and everyone has a good laugh. Then we all headed upstairs to make sure we were in our rooms for room check and lights out.
After exchanging a few pleasantries with my roommate, who was going through a break-up I believe, we went to sleep. And then were ripped from our peaceful slumber by our 0400 wake up call. After getting dressed and making sure we hadn't left anything behind, we assembled downstairs for our 0430 chow. I was very excited to see bacon and eggs, and that excitement quickly subsided once I realized it was turkey bacon and powdered eggs. I opted for a bowl of cereal and some fruit.
After chow, we were lined up and herded onto our bus for the ride over to Fort Gillem. Once we arrived we were formed into two reception lines outside. Everyone had a Breath-A-Lyzer test to check for any alcohol use. After that we were told to double time into the building once our name was called. Surprisingly, my name was the first called, and I was informed I was in the Lead Group. Let me take this opportunity to thank my recruiter for having all of my paperwork in ahead of time. The Lead Group consists of the first 7 people to have all of their paperwork in completely.
After our initial briefing from the LT telling us not to smoke, not to leave the building, and not to blow shit up, we were escorted to the medical section of MEPS. Our medical assistant made us drink half a gallon of water to make sure we would pass the urine test. The urine test checked for pregnancies, as well as drug usage. Then we had our blood pressure taken, we were weighed and measured, and had blood drawn to check for the HIV virus. We had our vision checked, and as it turns out, mine has gotten twice as bad since my last eye exam. Good thing I'm not trying to be a pilot! We had our hearing tested and we were also tested for color blindness.
Then came the physical. Possibly the most dreaded part of the day. I'm not sure what goes on with the males, but the females are given a full breast and gynecological exam. Wooo fun. After everyone in our group was done with the GYN exam, we had to perform 24 exercises that tested our flexibility, range of motion, and highlighted any problems we might have with our joints and bone structure. The most popular exercise is, of course, The Duck Walk.
To do the Duck Walk, squat down all the way so that your full weight is supported by the balls of your feet. Then fold your arms in front of you like "I Dream of Jeannie" or as if you were a Russian dancer. Then walk forward 10 steps fully rolling your feet, heel to toe. Without standing up or extending your knees, turn around and walk back the way you came. It's awkward and uncomfortable. Try it.
After passing the physical, we went to our Army Liaison Officer and discussed the terms of our enlistment, to include your MOS, bonus, benefits and extras, etc. He drew up my contract, and I took it over to the background office. I was fingerprinted and had a phone interview conducted as a background pre-screen because the job I selected requires a Top-Secret clearance.
Mom, Jonathan, and Christy arrived while I was getting fingerprinted and sat in the family area until I was done. After I was fingerprinted, I signed my contract of enlistment! I gave my paperwork to the Control Desk and was told to go into the briefing room for my Ceremony of Enlistment.
We were taught how to stand and parade rest and attention. We were informed of the various ways we could be discharged. And we were informed that desertion during a time of war is punishable by death. Then we were escorted into the ceremony room.
We were sworn in by an Air Force Captain that my family has affectionately named "Major Nelson." He was terse, at best, and obviously had better things to do than swear us in. Enjoy the staged picture below.
So it's official. I am enlisted in the United States Army (active), and will be shipping out for Basic Training at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri on 20 May 2009.
I arrived at the hotel by the airport around 1600. Everyone reporting to MEPS the next day stays at the hotel and are then shuttled to Fort Gillem the next morning. MEPS basically controls the basement level of the hotel. So I went downstairs, checked in, got bitched at by the woman, and went upstairs to secure my stuff.
The setup downstairs is actually really nice. There is a huge plasma TV with a really nice surround sound system and lots of recliners set up around it. There is also a separate section with another plasma TV with an Xbox 360. We were not allowed to play with it though, and we got yelled out every time someone asked if we could turn it on. Everyone just ended up watching the movie Shooter, which was actually really good.
Then was dinner. All of our meals (except lunch the second day) were served in the hotel's restaurant. It was absolutely hilarious to watch the cat-and-mouse dance about where to sit in the restaurant. Nobody really knows anyone at this point, so you basically sit with the people you think look the most interesting, or, if you are particularly daring, go and sit with someone you find especially attractive. The dynamics of the whole thing were really just funny to watch. I ended up sitting with some guys that I had a short conversation with earlier, mainly because it was easier to sit with people I had already broken the ice with. Dinner was mediocre at best, but I can't really complain as it was free.
After dinner we went downstairs and I Am Legend was on. My group opted to get an epic game of Monopoly going instead. Enter Creeper. I do not know his real name, nor do I care to know. I refer to him only as Creeper. He was THAT guy. The guy that knows everything about everything. And the guy that makes sure you know his opinion on everything, regardless of whether or not you want to hear it. And the guy that thinks he has been put on this Earth as God's greatest gift to women. THAT guy. Out of the 100+ people there, he chooses to sit next to me.
Monopoly ended up being really fun, if only for the fact that everyone had bonded over our severe disdain for Creeper. At one point he suggested an outing to Starbucks, and we all chose to let him go by himself, buying ourselves a few precious minutes without him. We ended up playing Pictionary while he was gone. I played an Army vs. Air Force round, and of course the Army won :)
At 2030 we were instructed to watch a briefing on what we were to expect at MEPS the next day. It was, as it's name suggested, a brief and to the point account letting us know that we would be sitting around and waiting all day. After the briefing we were instructed to form a single line at the front of the room to receive our evening snack. A cookie and soda of our choosing. Mean lady was in rare form and only had the snacks available for 5 minutes. Even if you were in line, if the 5 minutes were up, you were SOL. I must make a mental note to make sure I'm always at the head of the line...
Anyways, Creeper had returned by this point and watched us play another round of Pictionary. He kept telling everyone stories of escapes from police, battle scars, pornographic tattoos, and other various nonsense stories that only resulted in headache for those around him.
At around 2220 all the smokers decided it was time for the last smoke break before curfew at 2300. I was in the very small minority of non-smokers, but accompanied my new group of friends outside to continue our chatting. In true smoker form, we formed the cliche smoking circle outside. With 20 minutes to curfew, Creeper announces that he is headed up to bed, and walks across the circle to where I'm standing and says, "Since we are both going Active Army, we should exchange numbers to keep in touch and help each other out and stuff." And me being the terrible person that I am say sure and make up a number to give him, eliciting some of the funniest stares and glares from the rest of the group there.
After Creeper made his exit, obviously very pleased with himself that he had scored my number, everyone else begins a barrage of "I can't believe you gave him your number!" I calmly explain that I gave him a fake number, and everyone has a good laugh. Then we all headed upstairs to make sure we were in our rooms for room check and lights out.
After exchanging a few pleasantries with my roommate, who was going through a break-up I believe, we went to sleep. And then were ripped from our peaceful slumber by our 0400 wake up call. After getting dressed and making sure we hadn't left anything behind, we assembled downstairs for our 0430 chow. I was very excited to see bacon and eggs, and that excitement quickly subsided once I realized it was turkey bacon and powdered eggs. I opted for a bowl of cereal and some fruit.
After chow, we were lined up and herded onto our bus for the ride over to Fort Gillem. Once we arrived we were formed into two reception lines outside. Everyone had a Breath-A-Lyzer test to check for any alcohol use. After that we were told to double time into the building once our name was called. Surprisingly, my name was the first called, and I was informed I was in the Lead Group. Let me take this opportunity to thank my recruiter for having all of my paperwork in ahead of time. The Lead Group consists of the first 7 people to have all of their paperwork in completely.
After our initial briefing from the LT telling us not to smoke, not to leave the building, and not to blow shit up, we were escorted to the medical section of MEPS. Our medical assistant made us drink half a gallon of water to make sure we would pass the urine test. The urine test checked for pregnancies, as well as drug usage. Then we had our blood pressure taken, we were weighed and measured, and had blood drawn to check for the HIV virus. We had our vision checked, and as it turns out, mine has gotten twice as bad since my last eye exam. Good thing I'm not trying to be a pilot! We had our hearing tested and we were also tested for color blindness.
Then came the physical. Possibly the most dreaded part of the day. I'm not sure what goes on with the males, but the females are given a full breast and gynecological exam. Wooo fun. After everyone in our group was done with the GYN exam, we had to perform 24 exercises that tested our flexibility, range of motion, and highlighted any problems we might have with our joints and bone structure. The most popular exercise is, of course, The Duck Walk.
To do the Duck Walk, squat down all the way so that your full weight is supported by the balls of your feet. Then fold your arms in front of you like "I Dream of Jeannie" or as if you were a Russian dancer. Then walk forward 10 steps fully rolling your feet, heel to toe. Without standing up or extending your knees, turn around and walk back the way you came. It's awkward and uncomfortable. Try it.
After passing the physical, we went to our Army Liaison Officer and discussed the terms of our enlistment, to include your MOS, bonus, benefits and extras, etc. He drew up my contract, and I took it over to the background office. I was fingerprinted and had a phone interview conducted as a background pre-screen because the job I selected requires a Top-Secret clearance.
Mom, Jonathan, and Christy arrived while I was getting fingerprinted and sat in the family area until I was done. After I was fingerprinted, I signed my contract of enlistment! I gave my paperwork to the Control Desk and was told to go into the briefing room for my Ceremony of Enlistment.
We were taught how to stand and parade rest and attention. We were informed of the various ways we could be discharged. And we were informed that desertion during a time of war is punishable by death. Then we were escorted into the ceremony room.
We were sworn in by an Air Force Captain that my family has affectionately named "Major Nelson." He was terse, at best, and obviously had better things to do than swear us in. Enjoy the staged picture below.
So it's official. I am enlisted in the United States Army (active), and will be shipping out for Basic Training at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri on 20 May 2009.